Go here–http://www.facebook.com/pages/Dakota-Cassidy/131025590243379

Read the notes page for deets on the contest–post a comment–you’re entered. Easy cheesy, yes?

There’ll be lot’s more contests coming up–so take a peek!

DC

You will.

So don’t cheat! LOL

As I ice my cankles and cucumber slice my swollen eyes–let me reflect–

First–The Fans–Dudes, you’re some hardcore bunch! I had the most awesome time meeting, chatting, snarking, playing and hanging out with you. Seriously–the book fair rocked my sox off, and here are just a few special mentions. Now if I miss anyone, it isn’t because I don’t love you like a hooker loves a Caddy-drivin’ John. It’s just cuz I’m sooooo old. OLD. So, here goes–Nettie, who hung out and smoked with me (don’t judge, people, it’s stressful at RT and at least we weren’t selling our bodies for cash, right?), Melissa, who’s got a super laugh, Anni, who drove a bazillion hours to see a bunch of us authors and gave me a chocolate rose, Rebeckah (if I spelled that wrong, you crazy Aussie, it’s cuz I forget), who ain’t afraid to let her snark shine and keep an author in place, and Bad Barb who is one of the most supportive fans I know and who’s been in my life since the beginning of my career, and Shelly Bryce who I’ve known online for about a year now.

New to me authors who’re FAB and authors I fought not to gush over– –Heather Brewer, Devon (that’s Devauuuuuggghhn to you!)Monk (who damned well better be writing her fingers bloody right now), TJ (eek, your last name escapes me!), Kat Richardson, who I’ve known online for a bit, but finally had the chance to meet–ditto that to Carolyn Crane. Tori Carrington, the husband and wife team of writers who are the most ever gracious, fabulous people and never once got angry with the craziness that was my end of the table at the book fair. Ditto on that sentiment for the lovely Ally Carter who writes tres fantastique YA novels. Also, karen Rose. Nice, nice lady and I refrained from behaving like a tard because I so love her romantic suspense, serial killer books and I didn’t want her research to begin with THIS fan. LOLLOL

The morticians convention–That’s right. I said morticians. Only a bunch of romance writers could end up at a con with morticians. Someday, when I feel cleansed enough to share my bathroom story horror of dead people and in general total, full body blech-ery, I’ll tell you about Jenny the Mortician. Just not today. LMAO

The panels-Ohhhhh, did we have ourselves a panel or two. First, there was the Idol/Dress Your Ideal Hero/Good to be Bad Panel. Don’t ask. It was a little hinky in format before we began, but thanks to the brilliance of one Jackie Kessler and a little LA Banks, we worked it out. I was your host, Ryan Seacrest (only cuter and taller), LA was more Randy Jackson than Randy is himself, Jackie was the “I’m loopy like a crazy straw because I take sleep meds”, yet complimentary Paula Abul and Amanda Macyntire was Simon Cowell. Two lovelies, Eden Bradley and Caitlin Willows helped dress our hero, Charles Paz, Mr. Romance 2009.

OMG–we had an utter and total blast, folks! These women were so terrific and frickin’ funny. And if you ever thought I couldn’t get a crowd of people to sing the jeopardy theme song and clap while our hero changed into his hero costumes–you’d be sooooo wrong. LOLLOL. Also, a huge thanks to Gloria who really just wanted to see Charles in a codpiece so she could feed him peanut butter and jelly sammies and tuck him in. Naughty girl you, Gloria! Also, Gloria’s pal, Ruth. Darlin’, yer awesomeness, and one sharp cookie!

The Erotic Editors Panel--Oh, the debauchery to be had. Alas, I refrained from too much craziness because I truly wanted to highlight the brilliance of these women and their thoughts on the genre. Though, we DID have a banana… Most of all to Kelly Collins, the EIC at Elloras Cave. Bright, informed, super savvy lady with an open mind. She kept things really rolling for me as I was sort of asked to step in for the charming Renee Bernard at the last minute and wasn’t sure what to expect. Kelly’s comments created more questions for me to beat those poor women down for

Industry people who are tough-assed folks–you know, because they didn’t run away screaming from me First, Jim McCarthy who’s Mark Henry’s agent. Dude can so take a joke as well as give one back. He hung out with us. Snarked with us, talked not just industry but life in general with us. He wasn’t even afraid of me. As you all know, I’m a lot. Jim took my “a lot “and stuck his tongue out at it. Good people. Kim Castillio, who isn’t just a publicist, but a total pal.

Next, three lovely, young, vibrant, glowing of skin editors from Tor. If they weren’t such nice, youthful chicks, I’d hate them for their vibrant youth and rosy frickin’ cheeks. Whitney Ross, Melissa Frain, and Kristin Sevick. Now let me aside this with a thought–these women are so young when we mentioned the Trilogy of Terror Doll, they asked, “You mean like Chucky?” LOLLOL. And yet, these ladies are well-informed, smart women who know what they want in an MS, understand the trends of the YA and women’s fiction markets, and overall just impressed the shit out of me. Oh, and they can take a joke, too I enjoyed their company and their input in the writing world.

People I owe an apology to–Heather Osborne, also from Tor. Heather does NOT, I repeat does NOT edit sci-fi. She edits PARANORMAL ROMANCE, Dakota, you idiot! For a year now, anyone who’s asked about the few editor names I know in the NY editing world besides my own editor, I’ve never mentioned Heather because I really thought she was a SCI-FI editor. I spent an entire night trying to remember the names of people I’d misdirected. My mission? To make it up to Heather by finding her the “Twilight” of authors so she can be crazy rich and buy like Bora Bora so she might bask in the sun and frolic in the emerald waves and sandy beaches.

Pictures–First, let me say, I can’t tell you all how flattered and totally verklempt I was when two of my fans, and longtime con pals showed up dressed as Marty and Nina from the Accidental Series. The effort they put into these costumes was phenomenal and made me cry. Thus, I give you (do note the detail on Marty’s legs), Debi Murray as Nina and Rebecca Melson as Marty–

My RT Awards Acceptance Speech–Sigh… so then there’s this… what you read this whole freakin’ post for. Okay, so lemme give you some back ground on what happened so I can defend my possession by Lucille Ball. I’m an ex BQ, people. I don’t get frazzled or shook up. not in a bathing suit, not in an evening gown, and at one time in my perky tatered youth, not even naked. I can only tell you this, my BFF’s freaked me out and left me so pathetically in a puddle of my piss, I couldn’t speak. I was verklempt. I was honored. I was so touched my friend went to all the trouble they did. I WAS AN IDIOT. The first few seconds of the vid will explain the verklempt part–the last couple I’ll explain when you come back.

Go ahead. Watch my asshattery. You’ll all feel superior as you laugh and point. LOLLOL

Here we go–come back when you’re done, and yeah, just stick this URL in your browser. Youtube did not wish for me to upload this to the blog. Prolly cuz even THEY could sense my complete stupidity. LOLLOL — http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oXxYwSqQdq0

You back? ‘K, here’s what happened. I thought that daggone award was attached to what I later found out was the box it goes into. So when Jill said to me “Be careful” I thought, “Why? I’m not going to hurl the pretty glass at anyone.” The moment I thought that, it fell. LOLLOL

Either way, I was so honored and teary–then horrified and humiliated that I’m such a total tard. But a huge thanks goes to Jill Smith who’s the head reviewer at RT. She let my BFF’s plan this thing in advance of the awards ceremony, and to boot, she’s an awesome, awesome lady! Also to my BFF’s Renee George, Terri Smythe and Michele Bardsley, who made that award forever memorable

I had a terrific RT, and I hope to do it again next year. On that note, I leave you with this–Dude’s, after almost 25 years, I have another shiny! LOLLOLLOLLOL

Dakota

Either way, my lazy ass is going to be at RT doing more of the lazy. So if you’re in the Columbus, OH area, and the Hyatt is on your hit list (I won’t ask questions), pop in and say heeeeeyyyyy!

I’ll be the lazy non-blogging loud mouth in the bar–or the… BAR. LOL

Hope to see you there!

Dakota

But wait. I’m not so sick that I can let this pass without blogging about it. I just gotta get this off my chest. Agree or disagree, bear with me…

Those of you who know me, know I love me some figure skating. Love it. I’m not so USA obsessed that I can’t see the value of another skater from another country. Not that I don’t hope for total annihilation to said other countries via mine, but mostly, I just appreciate skill and performance–even if it hails from frickin’ St. Tropez. I do. I can admit if we suck.

So I was a little jazzed to hear about Mr. Super Quad, Evegeny Pleshenko (or however you spell it. I can’t remember and I can’t be bothered to look it up. I only do that for the non-pansy asses :)) was back in action. I loved, and yes, cursed him on many occasion in his Olympic medal-palooza. I’ve been a bit out of the loop the last couple of years, and I wasn’t familiar with all the skaters in the way I once was. But I did know Quad-mania, and I was all woo to the hoo about him competing again.

And then…

I saw an interview with him via NBC just before the short program. I have no way to know if NBC slanted that shit, and I took Evegeny’s “I’m super rich (see my flashy car) and bored, so I decided to compete again because I know everyone’s scared of me” tude with a semi grain of salt. Yeah, I thought he was a douche for being so blatantly conceited. But I gave it up to him because he has a medal in every color of the rainbow, and truth be told, I kinda wanted him to win–even if he isn’t the typical kind of skater I usually enjoy. I like more performance than I do mere jumps. I like crisp, clean footwork that speeds across the ice. I like beautiful spirals, Beilman spins, and I dig a death drop–especially when Boitano does it. I also love musicality. And still, I was kinda hoping dude would win. I know. Bad American.

And then…

I watched the long program.

BOOM–Evan Lysacek beat that bitch down. I also thought Johnny Weir was robbed and those tards who commentated while he skated from Whereverlandia shouldn’t be allowed microphones–unless they’re sticking out of their asses. But that’s for another bitter blog

So here’s the thing. Super Quad knew going in what the new rules were, right? A quad ain’t what it once was back in your day, my tasty borscht soup, and there are deductions if it ain’t as pretty as it’s supposed to be. And let’s be honest, dude, it wasn’t perfect. That’s just the truth. It wobbled, it creaked, and it wasn’t technically PERFECT.

Evan, OTOH, did some pretty technically sound triple axels and triple everything’s that WERE almost perfect. Not to mention, Evan end-loaded his program with a bunch of jumps and didn’t just skate around, winking at the judges and the crowd, figuring he had the gold in the bag. You get more points like that, Evegeny. You knew it coming into this Olympics just like every other competitor. Also, let’s not forget, Evan’s serpentine footwork was pretty smack–yours? Not as much. I may not physically skate much anymore, and I could never do more than a wobbly single to begin with, but I know a thing or two about the sport after watching all these years. I know what it’s supposed to look like and what it isn’t. I know the jumps, the transitions–I. KNOW

I think the lesson here is strategy, baby. Evan had it–you didn’t. He wailed you in the end because he had a bunch of jumps at the end of an over 4 minute program with them

So okay. In the end, you got a silver medal. I was happy for you. You? not so happy, pappy. Jesus, dude–WTF? Next day I’m all hearing quotes from you that because Evan didn’t do your masterful rendition of the quad then figure skating’s not a sport it’s dancing for girls. Then your website depicts you with a platinum medal. Okay, so sure, the media’s had a hand in it, and they’ve exploited your whining to the millionth power.

However, there wouldn’t be anything to exploit if you shut your rich trap and sucked–it–up! OMG–you’re more of a sissy-Mary than any BQ contestant I’ve ever seen. And I’ve seen, my European friend. I’ve. Seen. So do me a skinny. Please. SHUT UP. Get over yourself and dig deep in that quad-capable body for some sportsmanship. Get over yourself, cookie. I beg of you. I’d like to love you again–lemme do it in peace

Ahem… And in other news. First, my title for Suck it up, Princess has changed. I haz a major sad, but marketing said it was too YA and too chick-lit. I will admit, I cried. A. Lot. I vlogged the hell out of this. I worked a whole promo strategy around it, and I was crazy upset.

So, in a mad scramble, and more title suggestions than I can beat with a stick–we’ve decided to go song titles. Thus, Suck it up, Princess is now You Dropped a Blonde on Me. I knoooooow–I love it! That’s all thanks to my BFF Michele Bardsley who let me cry on the phone with her while she rambled options after I’d decided I liked the corner and my sissy-blankie Woot for BFF’s!

The kid–OMG–remember the joy I spewed when he graduated? The next time you’ll read that kind of joy from me is when he MOVES THE HELL OUT! If he doesn’t make a choice about a career and make it soon, the smoke signals you see in the sky will be from me dancing around the bonfire that are his possessions over yonder here in Texas. I promise you, I’ve told him a thousand times being a DJ and calling himself Little Crown T just isn’t lucrative, but so far, my advice has fallen on deaf ears. I wonder if he can DJ from his Kia in the Wal-Mart parking lot? LMAO

And lastly, I got another gig. Yep–those crazy accidentals have another installment in May 2011 titled Accidentally Catty. A vet who turns into a cougar who kinda IS a cougar ’cause she’s 40–HAHAHAHAHAHA. BFF Terri came up with that when I told her the idea. Genius, yes?

And now I’m off to watch women’s figure skating–you know, where we all play like ADULTS? LOLLOL

Dakota

Dude–ya won!

Email me Dakota@dakotacassidy.com to collect yon prize, and someone else threw something in, too. So you’re gonna get some booty!

Sorry I couldn’t post this last night, but WP didn’t want to let me in… but better a day late than never, eh?

To Lisa and everyone else, thank you for participating. Marks’ books are awesome–I hope you’ll continue to tell people about them, blog them, BUY them!

You guys are all sorts of awesome

Dakota