Maybe just a little?

Here’s the scoop. I was saying to R just the other day, “You know, honey, we’ve been dating six months (far longer than ANY man has been able to keep me–except when it involves a ball and chain and committment and vows in front of God and all), and we haven’t had a fight. This worries me.” Yes, we had our sxth month anniversary with little or no fanfare. Actually, R slept through most of it. LOLLOL

However, we’ve not had a single fight in all this time. Not one thing, even his penchant for sleeping round the clock never bothers me. Not his love of motocross, not his obsession with junk food, not his anything.

What the hell?

Surely we’re due for a knock down, drag out, tarred and feathered, name calling, brawl, no? How can it be that we haven’t fought about a single thing? I know the ex and I went ’round long before six months. I know R and his ex did too.

So I’m laying in wait. or is it lying? I can never remember. Anyway, I’m worried that when we do have a fight, if we do, it’ll be the mother of all fights. They’ll have to call in CSI when it’s over.

I mean, I haven’t even sqeulched a fight. I haven’t even had to resist one. Not one. I can’t imagine what I’d do if we didn’t watch TV together every night on the phone when we aren’t together. We have a routine. Certain shows on certain days, ya know? if we had a fight and I had to watch Skating with Celebrities without him, I’d be very sad. He even watches dancing with the stars with me. He gives good commentary…

Shoot, I hope if we do have a fight, we have one like on a Friday when hardly anything good is on. LOLLOL

What does this mean? Why aren’t I irritated with him? Is it because we don’t live together? The ex and I didn’t live together before we were married and we fought. For all the time we don’t spend in each other’s physical presence, forgetting to put the cap on the toothpaste, we spend on the phone, or IM. Surely, by now, we’d have had a fight?

I’m worried. I’m very, very worried. I just know I’ll cry a river if we have a fight, but if we don’t have a fight won’t we explode? I mean, anger overload-us and all?

How can this be healthy? I know Dr. Phil would have something to say about this.

I just want to get it over with. Soon, so we can put it on our checklist of things to do and call it a day.

Honey? Wanna rumble? LOLLOL

Dakota

The Cleanse.

Heard of it?

It’s kinda like a major enema. It’s this all natural, fasting way of cleanings your intestinal track (sp? tracht?). Anyway, it’s a new fad and R’s got a friend who gave it a shot. She raved about how energetic she is and stuff as a result of it. It’s kinda like cleaning house with your innards, I’d suppose.

Now, I’ve fasted in the past. I’ve done just water for a week or so and that was okay. I’m not a big eater, so it didn’t kill me, but this, well this is something I’m not sure I’d be up for.

So, R’s gonna give it a whirl. He’s got a lot of intestinal issues, among one is gas. Not the noxious fume kinda stuff, just a bubble in his chest all the time. He’s always got a belch at the ready and he thought this might help him.

So, this cleanse thing–it begins by weaning you off of meat and solid foods, then, you drink a lot of sea salt water and lemon water, followed by pure maple syrup and cayenne pepper or something like that. I’m not sure of the order and don’t quote me. Go look it up. It has something to do with Zen, or Buddah, or some spiritual guide I didn’t get to read about because I was sickly drawn to the pictures of what your body has gunking it up.

Supposedly, you feel like a new person.

After the pictures I’ve seen, I think you actually shit a new person. Or one that was hiding in your bowels and you didn’t know about it.

R and I looked it up on the Internet. I saw pics of stuff that was pretty yucky. Collanders holding stuff that comes out your other end. All I know is, if you have that junk in you–you have too much rope in your diet. LOLLOL

However, it’s supposed to clean out all the gunk that clogs up your colon ect and make you feel energetic, refreshed.

R’s going to give this a shot. He began a couple of days ago. Yes, my junk food junkie is in essence, going to fast for 7 days. That means no Sonic, no Whataburger, no KFC, NO ICE CREAM (see that, honey? NO ICE CREAM).

I can’t say what this will be like for a man who wakes up in the niddle of the night and eats spoonfuls of chocolate fudge from a jar.

Yet, I support this effort to clear out his colon. Everyone should have a clean colon, yes?

I think I may have to support it from afar because I think it might be much like a man experiencing birth with none of the cute shower gifts and flowers afterward.

R thrives on his junk food. It’s only since we began dating and he’s rediscovered fruit and better things to eat than hot dogs and greasy fries. We’re in the please each other state of innoncence — you know, the one where every breath you take holds great importance for your mate? And so he’d call me up and go, “Hey, Bun. Guess what I’m eating?” I’d coo and say, “Aw, Honey. You’re having fruit or a salad.” See me preen.

I’d do the same. I’ve tried to eat more than one grape per day to make him happy. LOLLOL. I forget to eat, so I go without. If I moved around in my job more, I’d be 25lbs. My metabolism is pretty good still.

So, R is going to cleanse. I’m going to lay low while he does and not invite him for dinner unless lemon water, followed by a shot of maple syrup is on the menu. LOLLOL

I’ll let ya know how it goes. I’m hoping he’s more engergetic, cuz ya know what that means, dontcha?

MORE UNO! LOLLOL

Dakota