Archive for June, 2007

Jun 28 2007

Wherein Dakota is a SUCKER…

Published by Dakota under Uncategorized

This is my last post before I hit the road for MI for a week with little or no Internet access–so do indulge in yet another tale of “Dakota is a tard.”
Okay, so R calls me and tells me he’s at a stoplight where right next to him, a guy has a truck full of puppies. All sorts of puppies. Malteses’, English bull dogs, and Yorkshire Terriers.

Argh.
Now I’ve always wanted a Yorkie, but I’m resisting because I have two babies already and one, Wenzday, a pug, is diabetic and going blind in her right eye. The other, my Chi, is like a retro version of the 60’s mindset. Gomez’s philosophy is love the one yer with. he loves all the ladies in the house and will sleep like a whore with whomever will give him a bed.

I also have two cats. One who yarks if you simply think the word. He’s the Amazing Creskin.

Add in my mother’s dogs she brought with her when she moved in with me, a Cockapoo (snuggles) and a long haired Dachshund (truly scrumptious) and we have a houseful.

Now add in Mike and Mindy, Rob’s dogs. Two more dachshunds. Mike who’s older and experiencing bladder difficulties much like me and needs to wear the pee-pee pants because he has accidents. Mindy is just a ball of sunshine and was once abused by some fuckhead. Rob got her from a Dachshund rescue. They visit occasionally and spend the night with me because I’m sickly attached to them since the time Rob moved and they had to be with me for a few months until he got the farm in order.

So–get yer fingers out–when everyone is here, that makes 6 dogs and two cats.
yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…

Thank God I live in Graceland.
Anyhoodles–like I was saying, Rob knew I wanted a Yorkie, but I figured when the time came that my Wenzday skipped off into the next realm of endless Milk Bones and Steak Tar-Tar, I’d go looking. I lurve animals. All of them–especially the ones that have no potential for adoption. I hate people who abuse them. I despise people who take them and then just dump ‘em.

Soooooooooooo, when Rob tells me this I say, OMG! How could you tell me something like this! you KNOW how I am. My son Cam (of the my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard fame) overhears me and says, oh, let’s just go look. I’m like no fricken’ way.

yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…

I finally figure, what’s the harm, right? I’ve walked away before and besides, Yorkies are ridiculously priced. But, loser, easily manipulated mother that I am, we go.

to just look…
Yeahhhhhhhhhh…
Oddly, it was at the same intersection, where on a convertible ride, Rob told me he loved me :)

We get there and it’s late and there are no more Yorkies. Alas… however, they do have a really cute Griffon something or other. He looked like Chewie from Star Wars–and he was on some kind of crazy crack. He was a bundle of yippy and skippy.

So now we’ve looked, the Yorkies are gone and I’m cool. I’m not paying 475 for a dog who more than likely someone else will adopt and lurve to pieces and he’s not a Yorkie… he’s a brussell-griffon something or other.

yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..
However, there’s an English bull dog and I just gotta see–he’s absolutely the most sluggish, laid back dude evah–and 1800 greenbacks.

Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh….
Suddenly, I hear talk between the two men who are selling the puppies that there are Shi tzu’s. Awwwwww, my mom had one and he was a riot. His name was Fugji and we loved him to death. So I just wanna peek–and then I hear there’s one (a male) who has one eye smaller than the other and he might be meeting his maker if he can’t be sold.
And I think–My left boob is smaller than my right, but Rob adopted me… and now I MUST see the puppy because these heathens are going to rid themselves of defective merchandise and this pisses me off. it’s all I can do not to haul off and slug the numnuts in the chops. Yet, I am always a lady and I refrain…
Everyone else is sold in the Shi Tzu dept, but this little guy.
yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…
So I hold him. I look at his right eye which is indeed smaller than the left.
I care not.
I want.

So here’s my Milo. I figure he and my Wenzday, between the two anyway, have one good pair of eyes. We’re going to velcro the wee one to Wenzday’s head and make them a perfect pair of 20/20’s :)
Ter said they were probably full of shite and had no intention of knocking the little bugger off–she’s probably right.
but just loooooooooooookkkkkkkkk! LOL
Dakota :)

8 responses so far

Jun 25 2007

For Shiloh and Erin

Published by Dakota under Uncategorized

So they’ll get off MY BACK. LOLLOL

Hookay, so it’s been like forevah and a day since I blogged, but life has a way of grabbing me by my foot and dragging me down the road to participation and here I am. So I’ve been busy with the house and the book and the group etc. I did some blog interviews (one with Jaynie. Yeah, she’s back and cooler than ever), and trying to write this book before I have to leave for MI the end of this month. Then there’s RWA from the 10th-16th and my friends are coming to hang at Casa Cassidy and we’re going to crash the bar at the hotel. I, like the good author I am, am sooooooo looking forward to slapping a face to a name. Quietly, of course. I’m merely an observer. Snort.

So here’s what’s new…

Not a lot… LOLLOL

Actually, that’s not entirely true.

Texas is HAWT and lately, rainy. So now it’s steamy, gloomy and HAWT.

Onto more pressing matters.

First I’m going to make brief mention here about Triskelion. I’ve gotten an e-mail or two about this and I’m just going to say a couple of things. My book Sexylips66 was with Triskelion. I also had an anthology I was in and my title was Mac to the Future. I have no intention of changing them making it a little different and selling it to another e-pub (???). I hadn’t been out and about much on the web except for to a couple of blogs, so that tidbit was new to me. I was paid in a timely fashion for my work. I took into consideration many discussions/suggestions from many sources and I tried to make the best, professionally based choice about what to do upon asking for reversion of my rights–time will tell if it was right. I wish everyone–authors, editors, and the staff of Triskelion the very best. I was sad to see its passing. Nuff said.

It’s HAWT in Texas AND I found a stretch mark on my boob…

My son Cameron has suddenly developed a sense of ha-ha–Like I totally thought his genes were going to all be about his dad (sigh). However, as of late, he’s like the snark-meister. The other day he was complaining he might be getting man-boobs from too much comp-time. So later in the week I asked him how his man-boobs were and he looked at me, grabbed said boobs like any experienced greased pole engineer, and sang, “My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard!” To which I nearly peed in my big-girl panties. I’m very, very proud to have passed on the gift of self-deprecating humor :)

And it’s HAWT in Texas.

My oldest is still sans license. God only knows what I’ll have to do to figure this out. Right now it’s just me trying to figure out the best avenue to go when I file this mysterious paperwork so if I’m possibly missing something they claim they need (because we have a billion diff answers), and decide I’m not worthy because I didn’t research it well enough, I won’t lose anywhere from 250-545 bucks. Yeah, they can take yer cash and not give you a damned thing for it. Swell way to say thanks for your patronage, eh?

And it’s HAWT in friggin’ Texas, I have a stretch mark on my boob AND a killer forearm ache that won’t go away.

I have new carpet in my office and bedroom. Yee and haw. What a fricken’ day that was. First–I had no idea they couldn’t move my electronics and naturally, my office and bedroom have the most shit this side of Kingdom Come. See me and my 71 year old mother moving my flat screens. But there was redemption for the mess. The one installer thought I was my oldest spawns SISTER. Well, it HAS been rainy in TX and it WAS gloomy that day–low lighting and all :)

It’s HAWT in Texas.

I believe I have rosacea. I only have two million new afflictions since hitting 40, but this new one–well, this one makes me look like I have a mustache. Here’s the deal. I tan really easily. I use sunscreen and reapply liberally, but living in Texas, like 2 feet from the sun, means it’s frickin’ HOT and SUNNY (not a lot lately, but when it is–look out). I do a lot of yard work because SOMEONE has to. Anyhoodles, I’m in my bathroom one day and I note my cheeks have dark spots. As I work more in the yard, I notice, over the course of the week, that I have this darkening on my upper lip. My eyesight sucks and I think, OMG–I need to start waxing… it stands to reason–I am over forty and hair happens on us over forty chicks. I’m not too freaked, but I’m not happy either. I’m not very hairy, but it’s a rite of estrogen passage, yadda, yadda, yadda.

So I go to my fave salon and they go, um, why are you going to pay for a wax when you have nothing there. I’m like HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO–do you not see this? Yeah, my nice wax lady says and then she says, but it’s not hair. Your skin is discolored… We get out the magnifying mirror (what did I do before I tried one of these?)–which might have left me relieved–except, it’s still lookin’ like a mustache. She says, I think it’s rosacea. I’m not doctor, but you should go check it out. For God’s sake–ENOUGH already. Isn’t it enough that my bladder is swollen and ready to explode? I only use the facilities 9000 times a day. Isn’t it enough that my hair is falling out and my joints feel like peanut brittle? Isn’t it enough that I have EDEMA? My face swells up and to add to that fabulously attractive feature, I now have a MUSTACHE! And I have a mustache that isn’t even really a pre-menopausal symptom–thus, excluding me from the PM club. I can’t go on…

And it’s HAWT in Texas.

I found a stretch mark on my boob. Due to the fact that I tan so easily, I caught it because well, it’s white and I’m not so much anymore. Christ, I went through nine months of pregnancy and not a single issue. Now my boobs decide they’re southern gals and don’t want to go back to the north east and because they protest this with such vehemence, I have a stretch mark. Fine.

And most importantly–The title to my second book–The Accidental VAMPIRE happens to be someone else’s. I mean, I don’t want to be petty, cuz it’s UBER unattractive in an author, but for God’s sake, Jim–can I get a break here? LOLLOL. Actually, the nice lady who has it is Lynsay Sands and if I knew her personally, I’d snark her (lovingly and merely joking), but I don’t and well, you know how some things can get out of hand–rumors fly–people talk. So I’ll just say this–KNOCK IT OFF already. LOLLOL. My editor said we should come up with a new title. I say, er, yeah–she’s a NYT bestseller and I’m one in my mind. She wins. Anyway, I think we’re going with The Accidental Immortal, but no confirmation as of yet… and I’m not grudgin’. Besides, who could grudge when her cover for the book is FAB?

And last, but certainly NOT least. I’m in big like with Cindy Cruciger. Yep, she cracks me up. Didn’t know who she was until RT when she said mean stuff about me, but i DO NOW. Sometimes I have NO clue what she’s talking about, but it makes me laugh that I don’t. I shall commence stalking accordingly :)

Dakota :)

23 responses so far

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